I'm sad, I'm alone, I think depression kills me, anyone to talk to?

I have cried alone without anyone knowing, I wanted to do things that I never thought I would do knowing that it would end me, I do not know what to do, I do not know who to turn to, I guess I deserve this, I guess in part it is my fault, it is my karma for being who I am and I will continue to pay for it as long as I live.